Allowing our children to vent their feelings, encouraging and even welcoming them however they are expressed (and not taking it personally!), it is not easy at first. It is a practice that requires taking our head and then our heart into a place where we can calm ourselves enough to genuinely listen, and accept with compassion rather than judgment. In … Continued
We all have certain hopes and expectations of our children when it comes to their behavior in public settings, both organized and informal. We’re often disappointed. The reality is that in any given situation, not every young child will handle themselves with the kind of interest and attention we desire or expect, even when other … Continued
As conscious parents, we’re doing our best to learn to anticipate and respond effectively to our children’s behaviors and needs. However, the behaviors of the other children in our kids’ lives—friends, relatives, new acquaintances in public environments—are far less predictable. It’s inevitable our kids will encounter situations that confuse, baffle, or even frighten them. So, … Continued
The parent of three young boys is struggling to deal with their demands and the conflicts between them. If she accommodates one boy’s wishes, the other two react with an opposing desire, jealousy, and fighting. She’s wondering how to cope with her situation when everything feels like a compromise. “Most of the time I feel … Continued
We may not always agree with the parenting styles of our relatives and friends, and that’s okay. Get-togethers can still be enjoyable, positive social experiences for us and for our kids. In this episode, Janet offers her perspective on some of the common challenges that arise in gatherings with friends, family, and in public situations with … Continued
Many of us imagine late afternoons or evenings with our children as the perfect time to wind down and connect after a busy day. Unfortunately, this is often precisely when our children need to unload the day’s stresses. Which means that instead of enjoying restorative quality time together, we’re faced with challenging behavior, high emotions, and discontent. Janet unpacks some of the reasons why evenings … Continued
Janet responds to a mother who writes that she tries to sportscast disagreements between her older two children, but since the 2-year-old isn’t verbal yet, “it’s hard when I don’t really know what he’s thinking.” She’s wondering how to sportscast situations effectively without making assumptions about what her boy may be thinking or feeling in … Continued
A parent who’s always been her toddler’s playmate helps her child over the hump to flourish in independent play. Another parent learns to set boundaries, shift her perspective, and accept her child’s meltdowns. Janet shares a special milestone and much more in this latest episode of Unruffled. Transcript of “Independent Play, Meltdowns, Boundaries — Success … Continued
How do we help our children benefit from the privilege of extracurricular activities? At what age should we enroll our kids in lessons and sports? Janet has a child-centered approach that not everyone will agree with, but she believes is “too good not to share.” She discusses how parents can discern their child’s readiness and … Continued
The practice of acknowledging our children’s feelings and struggles can provide healing, calming messages of safety and acceptance. With a genuine tone and a few words, our acknowledgments can help children share pent-up emotions, feel seen and heard, and gradually regulate, which in turn eases problematic behaviors. However, parents commonly share with Janet that validating … Continued
Our children’s repeated behaviors can be baffling, exhausting, and sometimes infuriating, particularly after we’ve tried everything we can think of to make them stop. What are we missing? In this episode of Unruffled, Janet shares some of the common reasons behaviors persist and offers her actionable suggestions for helping our children (and ourselves) get unstuck. … Continued
How does respectful care work when we have more than one child? What can we do when siblings, multiples, and other groups of children seem to need our attention all at once? Janet’s guest is early childhood specialist Erica Orosco Cruz, a mother of 4 and the founder/director of Homeschool Garden, a childcare center and … Continued
In response to Janet’s article “When Your Child Seems Stuck Seeking Negative Attention,” a parent says her daughter will whine and cry while making “reasonable” requests for snuggles and food and play, but when she obliges, her daughter often then refuses those things. If she says no to her daughter’s requests, “it escalates into crying … Continued
