In this episode: A mother writes that she “feels like a failure” for having provided constant stimulation to her baby. Now 4 years old, she says her son lacks self-confidence. She describes him as insecure, easily embarrassed and reluctant to try new things, which she blames on herself for having “dictated” his play as a baby. She doesn’t know what to do and is looking for advice.
Thank you for this. My 3 y/o old struggles with confidence a lot but in a slightly different way. She will say “I CAN’T DO THIS” all the time when I know she can (like something very ridiculous like grabbing a toy in front of her). I ask “what seems to be an issue” to that she proceedes with “I just can’t do it because I am Emma. Emma can’t do things”. She needs me to pick her up and carry her to another room because she says she can’t and if I don’t do it she will say I don’t love her and don’t help her and many other very similar examples. It’s truly breaking my heart and I know I over-did it with entertaining her and helping her between ages 1-2.5y/o however I never said she can’t do something in a way of being critical. I don’t know how to turn it around anymore, I never pressure her really but she becomes so distressed when I lovingly place a boundary and tell her do it herself (pick that toy for example) that she regresses even further in her behaviour. I feel like I have messed up my child forever as she believes she can’t do anything herself.